The IM-Personals - Part 1

Remember: This is what Julie Andrews looks like

Okay, so I was trying to brainstorm a puzzle idea, and it hit me that if I could find a repository of images of celebrity impersonators and then select a few that missed their marks, that it could create a pretty awesome puzzle. Well, frankly, after perusing this website let me tell you that I grossly under-estimated how fascinating looking at people trying to look like other people can be. So I've decided why not draw out a few separate blog posts out of it, amirite? Just like the gummint draws the blood of our nation through taxing the wealthy. Amirite? Sorry, I've been hanging out with libertarians. (NOT ON PURPOSE!!)

The Drowsy Chaperone

Earlier this week I discussed a musical I wasn't very pleased with. So I think it's time I talked about a musical I'm actually really enjoying: The Drowsy Chaperone- music and lyrics by Lisa Lambert and Greg Morrison. Now, again, I'm not much of a musical fan, but as I've been listening to and re-listening to sound track, I feel just like narrator of the play, becoming increasingly infatuated with the entire production.

The Drowsy Chaperone is bookmarked and continually narrated by a solitary shut-in stuck in his urban apartment with only his record collection of old musical soundtracks to keep him company. And so, he provides an endearingly snarky guide through a fictional 1920's musical called (you guessed it) The Drowsy Chaperone. The musical-within-a-play is constantly being interrupted by knowing asides by the man in his apartment and real life interruptions, like a phone that won't stop ringing. The plot of the musical itself is the kind of fluff marshmallows are made from, but it's this whole-heartedly silly giddy fluff that becomes more and more infectious the longer you're exposed. It's like the chicken pox that way.

I'm not going to go into the "plot",  or try to give context, because the plot of the musical within a musical literally irrelevant. As our narrator says at one point in the play "It's mechanics. It's like pornography.[...] In pornography the story is simplistic --"how do I pay for this pizza?" being the classic example. My point is, as in a musical, the story exists only to connect the longer, more engaging production numbers." Here's one of my favorite musical numbers from the show, which ends "Act 1" (Even though the show itself is a full-length one act play, the musical-within-a-play has two):



In other words, if you aren't familiar with this musical, I highly recommend it. Fun, funny, and catchy as the plague. It's even allowed my curmudgeonly heart to grow three times. Don't worry, it's still shriveled and black, it's just larger than a kidney bean now.

The Attack of the Christmas Schooner

So I'm on the board of my local community theater, and specifically on the "programming committee", which means that I get to help decide the upcoming seasons. So we're reading plays. Lots of them. Some of them are good. Some of them are not so good. 

In that later category, I'm gonna have to add "The Christmas Schooner", which, as you'll never guess, is about a boat during Christmas. Now close your eyes and imagine yourself in the late 19th century. A family of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd generation German immigrants is trying to adjust to the American lifestyle. They long for "ein Tannenbaum", and the safe return home of the father figure from his possibly ill-fated voyage to return freshly cut evergreens to the good people of Chicago. If this sounds potentially interesting, just wait! Imagine all that, an intriguing and possibly heartwarming premise, a neglected historical demographic, and songs! Songs about Christmas! What could possibly go wrong?

Well... for starters: What if over half of those songs sounded like Irish funeral dirges? What if the only "joke" in the show was "How can a sailor's nose tell him the weather?... When it's wet, it's raining!" Bad-a-bump! (followed by the sounds of crickets). The show is so unbelievably goddamn earnest it makes me want to roll around in the mud. I mean, maybe I'm missing something (I notoriously am not a fan of musicals), but our Theater Director highly recommended the script and he's not the only one who liked it.

But I think the thing I hate about it, (and believe me, I can make you a list) is that it's obvious that it was written by someone with the same sense of humor as a door stop. Now, again, I'm not so big on the whole "singin' and dancin'" thing, but when you look back on serious, dramatic good plays, one thing a good playwright knows is that you have to leaven tragedy with comedy. This play takes itself so gosh-durned seriously that at least for this reader/listener, it was impossible to enjoy. Avoid, my friends. Avoid this foul deformity like the maudlin piece of treacle it is.