The IM-Personals - Part 1

Remember: This is what Julie Andrews looks like

Okay, so I was trying to brainstorm a puzzle idea, and it hit me that if I could find a repository of images of celebrity impersonators and then select a few that missed their marks, that it could create a pretty awesome puzzle. Well, frankly, after perusing this website let me tell you that I grossly under-estimated how fascinating looking at people trying to look like other people can be. So I've decided why not draw out a few separate blog posts out of it, amirite? Just like the gummint draws the blood of our nation through taxing the wealthy. Amirite? Sorry, I've been hanging out with libertarians. (NOT ON PURPOSE!!)

So here we have our first entry: This is "A.P." which I'm assuming are the initials of this woman as opposed to the international news organization, and if you can't put your finger on who she's trying to impersonate, the answer is Julie Andrews. Specifically Julie Andrews as she appears in the "classic" film Sound of Music, and by "classic" I mean "classically sugary" and by "classically sugary" I mean "so filled with treacly pap as to induce insulin comas in the average diabetic".

But I'm not a huge fan of musicals in general. If someone begins randomly somewhere you've either found yourself in a flash mob (which are mercifully rare and brief) or you need to find that person a psychiatrist and diagnosis them with histrionic personality disorder.

However, I do have to give props to the amazing Julie Andrews, who, let's face it, had one of the most amazing voices in musical theatre of the last century. But when I think of her, I think primarily of her voice and her face. So I'm going to go out on a leap and guess that this lady sounds (especially when singing) an awful lot like Julie Andrews. Otherwise, I'm just not getting it.

Sure she's dressed the part pretty well... but honestly how hard is it to drum up dowdy flower dresses and strum a guitar. Community Theaters across this great nation of ours have been creating this exact costume now for over fifty years now. The strength of a good impersonator is not just behaving and sounding like that star, but you've really got to have basic facial similarities. Take a look at these two (yes there are TWO) Rodney Dangerfield impersonators. Yeah, okay nobody's going to mistake them for the real deal, (partly because of this), but they both have the telltale bulging eyes, brick shaped heads, and most importantly, lookit the jowels on those two handsome fellas. I haven't seen jowels like that since I had to dog-sit my neighbor's basset hound! (I'm sorry, Rodney Dangerfield impersonators. As usual you don't get no respect, do you?)

What I'm saying is that, while both the impersonator of Julie Andrews and Julie Andrews herself are beautiful women, they don't look much like each other. Julie Andrews sort of has squinty type eyes, and she has very high cheekbones. This lady does not.

I'm not saying she should give up on her dreams to pretend she's a famous actress for other people, but what I think is, if she has enough talent to musically pass to Julie "freakin" Andrews (that was her given name) then why spend her time in the Celebrity Impersonation racket and just act in actual musical theater?

I know it's not a zero sum game, but I do think there's something to be said for concentrating on what you're good at. And frankly if we lower our celebrity impersonation standards to the extent that all you really need to be one is have a costume and be the same race as your wannabe-doppelganger, then we're going to have to start admitting children on Halloween and I don't think Las Vegas can handle that kind of volume, do you?

Wow. I had an stupid amount to say about a subject I've never even thought much about until an hour ago. And guess what, buckaroos? I've got alot more to say. Stay tuned for part two, when we discuss what happens when people choose the most uninspiring people to base their celebrity-mimic careers on!